Author: Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Here are some questions clients often ask - any of them sound familiar?
"When is the right time to make a transition?"
"Am I too old/young to be feeling this way?"
"Am I too old/young to be making a career transition?" "HOW can I make the transition? It feels too difficult."
"I'm in the midst of making changes but having trouble dealing with my feelings about it, I'm not sure, I can't take the reactions of the people around me, I don't want to hurt anyone else by my actions."
"Maybe I AM a cliche but am I supposed to sacrifice myself and the rest of my life in order to keep on living the way I have and hating my career, life situations?"
"I'm in a career that I hate and would like to make a change but I need to keep working while I do it, it's getting harder and harder to get up in the morning..."
"Why do I feel guilty putting myself first and making a change that will make my life better?"
"What do you mean by 'tolerating negative feelings'"?
"What causes burnout or the desire for a change? Are there things that are 'normal' and those that are just silly and unrealistic?
I don't think anyone is ever "too old" or "too young" to be making a transition. If somehow one finds oneself in the wrong career or profession why wait any longer? Why spend any more time doing something you don't want to be doing and that is impacting negatively on your life?
Is making a change easy? Sometimes if you’re lucky, but most of the time…... not so much. Will contemplating change & making a change bring up uncomfortable feelings? Yes.
When it comes to feelings, let's face the fact that we all have them all the time. We like some and chase experiences that allow us to feel them. We dislike others and try and mostly try and avoid circumstances that will bring them up.
The point is to acknowledge the discomfort and not let it dictate the choices you make. If you're feeling uncomfortable about making a change or the process required to do it the point isn't to say "this isn't the right thing for me". The objective is to be aware of it, figure out what's causing it and make decisions based on what's best for your future and the future you want to have.
That means tolerating some negative feelings. They're just feelings. They're not in charge. You are. They can be a useful tool. You can include them to figure out what's working and not working. What you want and what you don't want. Which techniques work for you and which don't. Which changes work for you and which don't.
So when you're thinking of making a change. The first step is to work through what the right change will be for you no matter your age or current circumstances. Then ask yourself what you're willing to do and feel in order to get it.
About the author:
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA is an Education/Government/Web 1 & 2.0 executive turned Consultant/Coach & Developer/Trainer for Corporate, Executive, Career, Healthcare, Education, Transitions, Multi-industry programs/seminars and speaker, as well as personal coach and the Co-Founder and President of NYC based DLC Executive Coaching and Consulting/Atypical Coaching. She coaches individuals, corporations and educational institutions to enable them to transition and grow effectively and to attain their goals through individual coaching, workshops and seminars. She has been a featured expert in national publications including The New York Times, AP, ESPN on the Obama transition, Business Week, Forbes, the LA Times, Pink, Chicago Sun Times, Dow Jones/Marketwatch, MSN, WebMD, Yahoo/HotJobs, Monster.com, Better Homes and Gardens, Self Magazine, University Business, American Society for Trainers and Developers and others.